Alcohol

I’ve been doing some reflecting on alcohol’s role in my life after a couple recent events. Right now, I feel disgusted by it. I’ve spent thousands of dollars on drinks that are bad for my body. Drinks that inhibit my ability to control my body, to critically think, to function. Drinks that destabilize my mood…

Two extremes

I forgot to take my medication last night. I woke up and thought “it’ll be fine, it’s just one pill.” I spent the morning hanging out with my kid, enjoying coffee, driving to daycare, and day dreaming about marrying my girlfriend. We’ve only been together for a year and have no plans of marriage, yet I’m…

Was it really just a bad night, or am I a bad mom?

Sometimes I wonder was it really just “another bad night” or am I a bad mom? My patience runs thin with my three year old daughter. I don’t hit her, and I rarely yell, however I get angry – and quick. She wakes up in the middle of the night and has to pee, and…

Missing someone next to you

Three words “I miss you” As I can feel your body heat next to mine  I hear them said with such desperation You mean them entirely But here I am, physically close.  “I miss you” I know exactly what you mean You miss the “real” version of me The one that is happy,  Always excited…

Hypomania or Happiness?

I’m back on medication, and the difference was noticeable from day one. I was already in a depressive state, and somehow I was able to rise out of it. Day one: Getting out of bed was easy. The day didn’t seem to dark. And I found things to talk about. Day two: I exercised (just…

Encouraging Diversity & Challenging Automaticity

This past semester I learned about automaticity which basically is the automatic reactions we have. We discussed studies, experiences, and textual analysis. One that stood out to me was a study that documented human reactions to videos. There was a more visible response to a white hand being stuck with a needle compared to a…

My need for speed, racing from depression

Three days ago I decided it was time to stop yet another prescription drug. A painful rash on my stomach being me to this decision. My heart shattered, because everything I’ve tried thus far has led to harmful and potentially dangerous side effects. Of course my first thought was “I’m going to have to spend…

This is what I needed to read tonight

Your mental health is more important than ever, and if there were ever a time to be vigilant about keeping all your marbles in the jar, it’s now. via 20 Mental Health Resolutions for 2017 (Because We Sure As Hell Need Them) — Let’s Queer Things Up!

Bipolar 2 Disorder

Bipolar type one and type two are two similar disorders. Type two is often referred to as (at least in my experience) the milder form of bipolar type one. It was the summer of 2016 when I finally decided to take charge of my physical and mental health. I began seeing a therapist (this was…

Mommy, Daughter, And Anxiety – Family of three

I’m a mother to a super awesome three year old. I always expected parenting to be hard. Anxiety makes it so much harder though. I was watching Rogue One the other day with my family and it begins with a small girl being left all alone to fend for herself. I spent half of the…